Wish I'd Never Grown Up

I hated it when I was called a ‘little kid’, or when I was told I was to young to hear something or go somewhere.  I never thought I required a babysitter and I always wanted to go to the parties the big kids went to.  When I was five I wanted to be sixteen, now that I’m sixteen, all I want is to be five once more. To run around outside and not be concerned if I get dirty or destroy my outfit. To wear a striped shirt under a patterned sweater vest with a plaid skirt and call it stylish. When it was okay to play a ‘boys’ sport. At the time the shortest skirt you owned was at your knees and anything shorter was ‘risky’. When you would take thousands of hilarious pictures because you never minded who saw. Or when you could leave the house without caring how your hair turned out. When you would go to the beach and even though it was freezing you would beg to stay. When you would go to karate class, because every little kid was signed up. When a Barbie doll or hot wheels car would last you week of amusement. When boys had cooties, and where from Jupiter.  When you had a crush on someone your best friend knew, and you knew if he liked you too. When you didn’t care if someone was black, white, gay, straight, skinny or fat. When you could eat and eat and eat and not feel guilty. When everybody was truthful, or when everyone was the best artist. Take me back to then!  

When I look around my school, around at the people in my generation I still see the children they once were, but a grown up version. Now instead of zooming down the street on their bicycle they are revving the engines and honking the horns on their new cars. They are still getting tummy aches from drinking too much the difference is it’s no longer juice rather its alcohol. Likewise protection is still being used but it is no longer a helmet worn when riding a scooter. The birthday parties still happen, there just not the same. Now ether everyone or no one knows if you like someone and it’s absolutely impossible to know if they like you back. Above all when did how you look become so significant, when your little you aren’t concerned if someone is fat, skinny, curvy, straight, wide or thin. So why do we care now? The only thing that has altered is age. So why did we have to go and transform everything else? Why did our homework turn from one page to ten?  Why did our emotions become so wild? Why did our classes start earlier and earlier? Why did crying over a boy become so common? Why did stressing about grades turn into first nature? Why did gossip become so viscous?

When you grow up almost everything changes. Some day’s I still like to pretend I’m five again, I put on a funky outfit; don’t look at the mirror before I leave. I ignore all the gossip and I laugh like crazy. I draw with my crayons and I sing at the top of my lungs. I pretend boys still have cuties and run when they come near. I eat pizza for dinner and ice cream for dessert and I cuddle with my mumsie and watch movies. The day like that make me yearn to still be five.  Then there are the days when you get A’s on all your papers. Friends and people you don’t know complement your outfit. The boy you like asked you on a date, you go in his car and he kisses you goodnight. When your family all gets along and enjoys each others company and you make each other laugh. When the days just perfect and everything’s right those are the days I like being a teenager, being grown up. However those days are rare.

“Remember when you thought boys had cooties?

When friends were new, dreams were un-shattered an worries few.

When recess was too short and life was too long.

Decisions came easily without need to belong.

When storks delivered the babies and passions weren’t so strong

Friendships were un-broken; Right was right, and wrong was wrong

When bad thing didn’t happen.

Only skinned knees brought tears & the night light in its socket quieted all our fears.

When farewell meant just for summer and real friends didn’t part.

When fun went on forever and never left a broken heart.”

-Unknown