Not Ready For Goodbye

Time is such a strange thing. It can go by so slowly when all you wish is that it passes fast. Or it can be hours later when you hoped it was only minutes. I have been stuck in my room for two weeks, and at moments I feel like it has been much longer than that since I have actually seen my friend. Yet other times it feels like I have done nothing this whole time I've been trapped in bed, where have the days gone. Granted I have been sleeping for about 18 hours everyday, mono is just a joy to have, but it still feels so fast. When I look back on my year, and the year before it feels the same. I feel the start of freshman year was just a few months ago, rather I’m two months and seven days away from the end of my sophomore year. I still feel I’m in December when I was in Santa Monica learning more about myself and others then I thought was possible in four days. In that four day program I gained a family that I know I can trust. It feels as though that was a week ago, in reality it was months ago. I’m still on that bus with my favorite people, the people I trust with my life, on my way to Utah for a week of snowboarding. For a week of none stop fun, of never ending laughter, nightly stretch circles and sneaking out of our rooms to lay in the hallways and talk (until out leaders would arrive and get us). When on the bus we would say “Not one sleeps until we see the sun!” and half of our friends where passed out 30 minutes later. When on the way back we all took melatonin, and found the most unusual positions and places to sleep.  I feel as if I just got back from that trip, unpacking all my warm sweaters and fuzzy socks so they could be washed to wear to school. Of course now the ice had dissolved and the flowers have blossomed, because it’s no longer winter rather its spring.

 All of the sudden my year is almost vanished, and the people I have come so close with are graduating. The people that have guided me this far are leaving. That have shown me more life lesson then I could ask for. Shown me that not only all you have worked for can be lost in a second with one mistake, but also you can make your dreams a reality with hard work and perseverance. That how hard you plummet illustrates how much stronger you will thrive. They have shown me that in truth people change no matter how hard we try and keep them the same. 

Some of the senior have become my family, and one really is my family too. From my brother’s best friends, the guy I have grown up with, that drove me around when I needed a ride. That have shown up in my house when my brothers not even home, because then need a place to crash. The ones that have seen me smile, laugh and cry, the ones that still call me Cassie. The ones I call my brothers, I’m going to miss seeing them around school and my house every day. Similarly there are the ones that I know I’m not ready to say goodbye to. The ones I have done astonishing, wild, and fun thing with, from a weekend work crew, to Utah, a theater festival in Fullerton, the random road trip, the days you just go on an adventure, or when we would just go get lunch or dinner. Several of the seniors have become my family, it’s hard to imagine I’m not going to be able to text them and 10 minutes later they are at my door. I know I’m not ready to say goodbye to all of them. The time has passed by to quickly, every memory I cherish . 

“Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with. And remember time waits for no one.”

-Unknown